CONCERNING JAMES PAUL VONHELTON....the story so far
You'd think that a radical Pagan vampire warlock Cherokee ninja ufo-conspiracy theorist couldn't possibly get any crazier. And you'd be wrong. He could always think that he is a superhero.
James Paul Von Helton has the dubious distinction of having crammed more insane bullshit into his head than any other person in the world. Most online nutjobs are content to JUST think that the aliens are out to get them, or that their surgeon wants to kill them for being a transsexual, VonHelton goes the extra mile to incorporate absolutely everything into his crazy fantasy world. However, the thing that really makes VonHelton stand out from the teeming masses of the internet is that he believes that he is the Marvel comic book character, The Punisher.
History (The Crazy Version)
VonHelton was a child prodigy who could name and spell every dinosaur and invented the stealth fighter when he was seven. He quickly followed this with the invention of the ion drive. Spending many days in the library studying, he learned both his parents were Illuminati. Von also took martial arts classes, his first steps to becoming a ninja. He joined the Naval Sea Cadet Corps and was quickly recruited for the military.
The officers were fueled with an irrational hatred for him, ruining his day in between the brave flurries of fighting pimps. Any attempt to transfer units was to take at least a year, so he was told he can either wait it out or "serve in a civilian capacity." He chose the latter, top secret work as a superhero in the special forces. At some point NASAstole the ion drive from him and was forced to send a black ops unit to kill him in order to stop any law suits he had planned against them. With nothing but his special forces training, he was able to single handedly wipe out the entire squad in what would be the biggest gun battle in Kentucky to never make the newspapers. Although luckily he was not hurt by military sharp shooters, his cat was killed. But he laid hands on his cat and brought it back to life. It would live to be 25 years old before succumbing to cancer. In an attempt to reconcile differences, VonHelton offered his services to NASA as a space marine. NASA refused his offer, citing his lack of a useless degree while pretending not to know about the idea of a space marine.
He was happily married to one Pamela S. Withrow until one of his children miscarried, and the other died shortly after birth. He discovered that this was done by Satanic new world order agents, who sentSatan himself to Von Helton's trailer. But Von was able to rebuke Satan with the power of Jesus. Afterwards his wife's cousin brainwashed her into divorcing him; and VonHelton then briefly joined a satanic cult which sacrificed babies to the devil. Later, he wandered the country fighting criminals, and demons, eventually learning that he was, in fact, a vampire. After years of working as a vigilante, he finally retired to a trailer in his mom's backyard to study majik and warn people about the new world order.
History (The Non-Crazy Version)
VonHelton, born Irvin Eugene Helton Jr., dropped out of community college, was kicked out of the army for being a fuck up after spending nine months driving tanks, and spent most of his life getting paid to clean shit in his parents' nursing home. Then he found the internet, and discovered he could forget about what a failure his life was by pretending to be a badass online. And thus a never ending saga of drama began.
About.com
VonHelton first reared his head on the Atheist/Agnostic board on About. He made perfectly reasonable posts about how he could raise the dead and generally telling them how they would burn in hell. As the flame wars escalated, he began to openly anticipate the apocalypse, during which his online enemies would be turned into demonized zombies, which he could then kill. When no one was intimidated, he quietly left the site and converted back to paganism.
Delphi Forums
Von branched out into multiple subcultures on Delphi, becoming a part of the vampire, pagan, and science fiction communities. This is when he first mentions his vampirism and majik skills. He desperately tried to use this to get sex from fat goth chicks, whining about how he was a lonely creature of the night and ranting about how girls he met online were one of histwo "vampire soul mates" and needed to drink his blood to finish their transformation. He finally managed to lure one 16-year-old girl from Canada to his trailer for hawt vampire sex.
A poster on Delphi messages boards prophesied that Von Helton would meet his future wife there and so began the methodical harassment of every female who posted in any forum he happened to visit there. If the female was cordial with him, he never let up until the point where she would be forced to be blunt about her non-interest in him and then he would accuse her of plotting against him. He claimed to have a lucrative home business in computer repairs that had been ruined by Delphi members. He then went on to tell one women she would never be able to find his house because you had to hike up a mountain to get there. For awhile he railed against the "homosexual agenda" while advertising for two bisexual women looking for a male love interest.
Meanwhile, real soldiers and martial arts enthusiasts were getting tired of VonHelton claiming to be a master ninja and ex-special forces agent. They called him out on it, which resulted in several epic thousand post long threads. Evidence of Von being a liar was posted. Death threats were made. Lolsuits were filed. People were challenged to ninja duels. Someone called VonHelton's neighbors and told them he was a "vampire". In short, lulz were had by all. VonHelton responded by claiming that they used black majik to kill his cat and tried to have him assassinated by the government for falsely claiming to have been in the special forces. This dragged on for years, until he was finally banned.
YouTube
VonHelton finally found a group that would put up with his schizoid raped narcissistic personality disorder: conspiracy theories. By focusing on bullshit they already believed, he was able to feel important without alienating anyone. According to Von, he started on youtube by watching girls apply makeup and getting them to subscribe to his channel if he would subscribe to theirs. The typical VonHelton video is 40 minutes long and involves Von in the same shirt he's been wearing for two weeks reading the title of an online article to his presumably illiterate fans, then repeating the same few phrases several times. He also does really shitty karaoke.
Lately, Von has been reduced to just loading shitty karaoke videos or whining about the trolls for sympathy, since he was outed wanting naked pictures of a child. Now he spends much of his time playing CarTown on Facebook.
Von even suggested numerous youtube trolls ripped his wife's cervix and were all facing double homicide charges if his wife miscarried their twins. Von claims when the weather gets better in Kentucky that he's going to see to it that all the trolls on youtube are in jail for harassment and attempted murder.
Rappelz
Like every other social reject on the internet, VonHelton eventually started playing a MMORPG. He bragged that he could defeat players who were a much higher level than him, with predictable results. This led to a crusade against the PvP system, claiming that the "extra code" to allow for PvP combat slowed down the server. After the entire player base told him to STFU, he threatened to fly to Korea to personally have the developers remove PvP and ban everyone who had disagreed with him. He eventually quit Rappelz and 3000 other players left with him in solidarity. He then joined CABAL online, where he did the exact same thing all over again, this time also trying proposing marriage to random Korean girls in exchange for a green card.
BlogTV
Von once had a blogTV channel, also ostensibly about aliens and conspiracies. However, it was mostly just "watch VonHelton sit in front of his computer talking about boring shit all day," occasionally broken up by trolls. He was also feeling especially lonely, and kept trying to get women to come to his house in preparation for solar storm that will destroy the world, so that he could protect them. This made it ridiculously easy for trolls pretending to be women to get channel operator status or be given his cohost spot, which led to much lulz. After complaints about him being a racist hate monger for having a poll on "What Should We Do About The Muslims?", his account was temporarily suspended, and, when he got it back, he immediately went on a screaming rant about how Muslims had been killing people for billions of years. He responded to the ensuing banning of his account the way any sane person would, by calling the FBI, CIA, KGB, and Mossad, and trying to have blogTV shut down for running a child pornography ring.
Years later on his new BlogTV account, Von was ironically busted asking for naked pictures of what he believed was a fourteen year old child that went by the screen name "kelly414014." Von claims the pictures were imperative in order to verify her identity. He later said that he only wanted the pictures so he could show his wife and tell her the child was coming to live with them in their trailer in Kentucky. He often discussed his desire for a plural marriage and is actively seeking bisexual men and women who don't judge people based on appearances. No, I am not kidding. He tried and failed to explain his actions on youtube and BlogTV only to change his story nine times. After losing nearly 800 subscribers, he did a video blaming five internet trolls. He then asked "where are the benevolent E.T.s?".
Ancestry
Von claims that he has royal blood from all four grandparents, to be a descendant of Vlad Tepes, Robert Frost's nephew, and to be Cherokee. Half of all US citizens have some royal blood, so the first claim is actually possible (though he probably doesn't know for sure and is just making it up regardless). Being descended from Vlad Tepes is pretty obviously made up, since it fits just too well with Von's claims to be a vampire and his dislike of Muslims. Robert Frost only had one sibling, who died in 1929. Even if he were somehow still his uncle, his parents would have to have been in their 90s-100s when Von was born which.... explains a lot, actually.
Von liked to claim to be a German Jew back on About, especially during any talk of the Nazis, but he hasn't mentioned it in a while. He's abandoned the claim of being Jewish, nominally because a Rabbi told him that Jewishness only passes through the maternal line, not paternally, but really because his fellow conspiracy mongers know Jews did WTC.
Von's grandfather.
Von's supposed ethnicity is hilariously impossible. He claims to be Cherokee, Dutch, German, Romanian, Jewish, English, and Scottish. More specifically, he is some nebulous amount of Cherokee, and mentioned the first four as his family's "four sides," so presumably he has one grandparent of each, and is thus 25% Cherokee, 25% Dutch, 25%Bavarian German, and 25% Romanian. He has enough Scottish blood to have been "born with red hair," so one may say at least another 25% Scottish. Factoring in the English blood from Frost's family, Von is actually somewhere between two and four people.
No longer able to pretend to be Jewish, Von turned to the Cherokee as minority he could claim to be part of to make himself more speshul. This is obviously untrue (just LOOK at the guy, for God's sake). He first claimed to be only a quarter Cherokee. Originally just his maternal grandmother was Cherokee, being a "Cherokee Princess." Apparently, this wasn't special enough, and at some point he began claiming to be 75% Cherokee, with his maternal grandfather being upgraded to "part Cherokee." He has also claimed his Cherokee blood to be variously 43%, 50%, 100%, "Over 100%," about 140%, and even over 200%. Not that any of his parents were full blooded Cherokee. Rather, they were all partially Cherokee, but add up to give him 100% Cherokee blood. He is really only about 5% Cherokee, descended thrice in his tangled tree from Chief Red Bird. This is made slightly funnier by his claim that Obama is not technically black as he's "75% Arab, 20% white, and only 5% black." He likes to stick with the most random value of all, often saying that he's "at least 43%." Von's true ancestry is mostly English.
Von will bring up his pretend Cherokee heritage during any talk of racism. He hates middle easterners and blacks, once making the Freudian slip "..the black ones... I mean the bad ones." When confronted with this, he invariably claims that he can't be racist because he's Cherokee or because he is "mixed race." The Cherokee claims also serve hisflag-waving. Von, like most conspiracy nerds, is a closet white nationalist, and is too afraid to face the lack of popularity and social proof that comes with being one. As an Anglo-Saxon American, he would have every right to claim America as the country his ancestors established and in whose soil they are buried; but as a massive coward who still wants to be praised for his patriotism and claim America as his own, he goes the liberal route of pretending he is some savage Indian.
Religion
Von was raised as, and still is, a fundamentalist Christian. Of course, there are simply too many Christians in America to make him feel special, so he claims to be a Pagan. His brand of "Christo-paganism" is blatantly just Christianity with the serial numbers filed off. Satan is renamed as the most "evil" sounding deity: Loki, Set, Hades, etc. The afterlife is exactly like the Christian one, with good people going to a paradise (e.g. the Elysian fields) and evil ones going to another (e.g. Hades). Modern American fundamentalist morality is, by astounding coincidence, exactly like that of the ancient religions (e.g. the Greek gods disliked homosexuality, etc.). When not reminded that he's supposed to be Pagan, Von usually slips up and refers to God instead of gods, uses "we" to describe Christians, curses Jehovah for making his life a shitfest, and so forth.
Ironically, he's a much better Christian now than when he was an actual Christian. Von's version of Christianity was centered around killing "demonizedzombies" during the end of the world. His theology owed more to Doom than the Bible. Of course, even THAT isn't badass enough, so he claims to have spent some time as a Satanist. He claims to have been more evil than his group of Satanists, who committed "infanticide." Despite being the Punisher, he doesn't seem to have turned himself in to the proper authorities for punishment for whatever it is he did. Fucking them, probably, since raping babies is probably the only thing "more evil" than killing them.
Von's religious history is a tangled mess. He was raised Christian, then converted to Satanism, then Wicca, then he started pretending to be a Christian which eventually led to him converting back to Christianity before finally converting back to paganism. Then in 2011 he claimed he was always a Pagan and never pretended otherwise, but today he is back to being a former Christian.
Von seems to think he's important to God. He claims that the gods promised him "A great and glorious future that will benefit all of mankind." He also thinks he's some kind of miracle worker. He claims to be able to heal people, control the weather, and raise the dead. When his cat, Garfield, was shot, he healed him. Unfortunately, the trolls at Delphi used black "majik" to make the cat die anyway. He also claims to be able to summon angels, but says Gabriel couldn't have appeared to Mohammad because it is difficult for angels to get to Earth. So, God can't send any angels to grant visions to a prophet, but He can spare a few to fuck with people who were mean to Von on the internet. If he didn't "convert to Paganism" to seem cool to a bunch of goths, or because of his pipe-dream of multiple wives, then this probably caused it, as he would have been kicked out of any church as soon as he started ranting about how he can raise the dead.
His views on other religions are extremely simple. Other religions good, atheism and Islam bad. According to him, all Atheists are Communists and vice versa. Islam, meanwhile, is a cult and needs to be destroyed. His idea for stopping them is to "nuke the Kaaba," because that will prove Islam wrong. It won't spawn a huge jihad or anything. After that, they should bomb Mecca and Medina too, just for the lulz I guess. Von knows that Allah is deceiving Muslims, he's just a Pagan moon god! He doesn't seem to remember that he is supposed to be a Pagan, and that you can't use your own religion as an insult.
The Toothless Vampire
Von thinks that he's a vampire. Apparently it started because he was born with hyperdontia, giving him extra teeth which he thinks were his "fangs." Getting these removed is one of his tales for why he has no teeth; another being that evil fluoride. As one can guess, he was just too lazy to ever brush his teeth.
At some point he claims to have been sick and healed after his friends got him a rare, bloody steak (as most don't eat cow veins, the "blood" of a rare steak is actually myoglobin, not blood). He deduced that this obviously meant he was a vampire and needs to feed on blood. He claims to get it from the butcher shop. This led him to the conclusion that he must be a descendant of Vlad Tepes Dracul, whom he believes to have been an actual vampire. He also thinks that porphyria is the scientific name for vampirism, and he's "seeking a cure" for it.
Von lives in fear of "vampire hunters," who may come and kill him, just for being a speshul unique snowflake. He also claims vampires are an "endangered species." He's tried to leverage his "condition" as support in his quest for a female companion. He stalked one woman on Delphi, claiming her illness was due to her being a vampire, and that he needed to feed her his blood. This would make her one of his two eternal vampire soul mates.
Chances are his "vampirism" is some twisted way of pathologizing his sociopathic lifestyle of leeching off others emotionally and physically. It also helps him pretend the fact that he doesn't work, sleeps all day and is up all night, is due to his "condition." Von would, and still does, claim his "vampirism" is a "wayward gene," something completely made up. Then someone alerted him to the existence of porphyria to help him bullshit.
Of course, Von obviously doesn't have porphyria. As one's gums recede and skin gets destroyed by the Sun, it is one of the diseases put forth as the inspiration for myths about vampires and werewolves. Named after the Greek for purple, it makes one's shit and piss purple. It also involves serious mental degeneration and seizures, triggered even worse by smoking, which Von does all the time. Von likely figured any article about porphyria was tl;dr for his moronic fanbase.
MS 13
Once upon a time VonHelton was the cohost for some asian camwhore on blogTV, and was, of course, being mocked for his obvious insanity. He told the camwhore to ignore the trolls, because they were "...probably from MS 13." Shocked that VonHelton had figured out who they were, the trolls admitted they were from the vicious latinostreet gang. They were seeking revenge for what VonHelton had done to their gang as The Punisher by making fun of him on the internet. MS 13 soon began uploading compilations of the lulzy parts of his videos. They were mostly ignored, until VonHelton released a video claiming he was sterile, as an excuse for why he shouldn't pay child support for his bastard son. Unfortunately, he forgot that little detail about how his children's deaths were what caused him to become the Punisher in the first place.Oops. MS 13 posted a video pointing this out, and VonHelton responded by daring his haters to accompany him to Dubai in order to free sex slaves and PUNISH their owners.
MS 13 called his bluff, and readily agreed to fly to the middle east to free some fucking slaves. It remains to be seen how he will weasel out of this one.
Some time in 2011, VonHelton sadly figured out that the people leaving mean comments on his YouTube videos aren't really a pack of bloodthirsty criminals. However, history will never forget that for one brief shining moment, a man honestly believed that Boxxy was a gangster.
Self Importance
The thing you have to understand about VonHelton is that he's REALLY FUCKING GREAT. He's got four separate sources of royal blood, he's a Cherokee, and a vampire. As a 5 year-old kid, he read Shakespeare, knew all of the aircraft, flying aces, and battles of the First World War, and had memorized and could spell the names of all the dinosaurs. In elementary school, his science project about airplanes won an award, and while still in elementary school he used these skills to design the stealth fighters Lockheed Martin took credit for. He's been in the army, the navy, the coast guard, the DEA, he knows ninjitsu, he's been a cowboy, he was an orderly for 14 years, he's helped girls fleeing from foster care and cults, he's an amateur cryptozoologist, an alchemist, and a sorcerer, he knows realty law, he was head juror for 2 years, has studied the world's religions for 35 years, has been a comedian, musician, singer, radio disc jockey (he also DJ'd for one of the first rap concerts), venue, and band manager, he used the force to repel a groundhog, he had an escaped panda from the zoo run by his trailer, he's the one who came up with internet abbreviations like afk and brb, he's died and come back to life (twice), and it's up to him to spread the word about the evil conspiracies that are out to get you. He was groomed by the rich and famous to be a politician in his teen years before giving it up to help the common man. He was part of a Satanic cult that sacrificed babies to the devil, but he was more evil than the other members. He was even a superhero for a while, and he captured all kinds of criminals in between fighting off assassins, demons, and ghosts. The gods themselves have promised him a "great and glorious future that will benefit all of mankind." And you better believe that when the reptilian aliens invade, he's going to fight them off guns-a-blazin, then return to his fortified home and have sex with the dozens of women under his protection.
Trolls had better watch out, I saw what he can do to us. Did you know that most of the trolls on youtube followed him there from Delphi forums? But he'll get us all. He'll trace your IP even if you're "hiding behind a firewall" (He's a computer repairman, lol). Then he'll track you down, beat you up, and smash your computer, while the cops just sit there and laugh. If he can't do it himself, he KNOWS people. People who owe him BIG favors. Just look what he did to BlogTV. He saw that there were people under 18 on BlogTV, and he learned that there were porn sites on the same server as BlogTV. He put two and two together, and figured out that this meant that BlogTV was carrying child porn. He called the KGB, the CIA, Scotland Yard, EVERYBODY on their asses. Too bad for him MS13 has worked tirelessly to protect BlogTV from these investigations.
It's best to understand that it's impossible to convince Von he has been wrong. He can twist anything around until he makes it agree with him. He once took a paternity test that returned a 99.999% chance he was the child's father. He uses this test as concrete proof he is not the child's father. After some prodding, he admitted that he knew that the 99.999% chance actually was the chance the he was the parent, not how much DNA they had in common, but continued to claim it wasn't his. It doesn't seem like he lies so much as his brain "edits out" anything that might change his beliefs.
Unsurprisingly, for all his bluster, Von is a huge coward. He would not be who he is without the need to mask a serious inferiority complex, and was likely picked on a lot in his younger years. When someone told some marines how he was lying about his military record, he was convinced they'd sent a para-military unit to kill him (they just skinned his dog and shot his cat). When his address was posted, he went nuts, yelling about how he and his parents were going to be murdered by internet weirdos. When he challenged people to prove he wasn't a real martial artist by fighting him with a $50,000 prize if he won, he backed out. He claimed it was wrong for a true ninja to demonstrate their skill in front of others. He still wanted the $50,000 from the guy for doing nothing, of course.
Gubermint Dun Took Mah Babies
Countless anonymous calls to the Manchester police department and Child Protective Services about Von in general and the Kelly chats in particular led to the authorities looking into Von's parenting skills. For obvious reason, they were alarmed, and sent several representatives to his trailer to check up on the kids. The final nail in the coffin, however, came when Von took his children to the doctor with shit and piss in their hair. On August 11, all three children were taken by the state. This made Von just a teeny bit mad.
After going through the standard grieving process of threatening to have the people who reported him killed by the mafia, Von revealed the real reason that his children had been taken. The doctor he took the children to was one of his internet haters who had moved into their area recently for the sole purpose of trolling him, and called CPS not because his children looked like they'd just come off the set of some bizarre Japanese porno, but rather just for the lulz.
Like any good parents would do just after trolls had taken away their children, Von and Mouse spent the rest of the day playingFacebook games and sitting on BlogTV, taking only an occasional break to yell at Von's mom for trying to get them to clean up the trash heap they call a home.
The Children Return?
According to Von the unscrupulous court system of hillbilly land has decided to return the children back to him under some kind arrangement. Von has spoken in the past and continues to speak about eloping with his family to another state, which is unlikely to happen considering the amount of financial funds, responsibility and organizational skills that both he and his wife lack. A more likely outcome would be him abandoning his family as he has done in the past when the pressure was too much for him.
Mouse (andrea vonhelton, now anrea locke)
Andrea Locke, a.k.a. Mouse, is Von Helton's child bride who unsuspectingly buys into all of Von's bullshit. Her naïve behavior can be seen in many of Von's YouTube videos and BlogTV broadcasts. She was described as having “some intellectual limitations” in a report by CPS which could explain her lack of lucidity and general comprehension of her situation with Von. This is perhaps a recent problem for her, as Von will let you know she once almost made the honor roll if she would have just been a completely different person. Their shotgun wedding happened because once again Von refused to pay child support for his baby. She is the first wife Von has acquired in his all but failed attempt to build a harem of wives made up of barely legal young women he has met online and fear-mongered into moving in with him in order to create an elite race of inbreds who will infect future generations. Andrea has since left Von helton as he caught her cybersexing with 11 men on 6 occasion, he purportedly threatened her with a gun and she she is now living safely with her family.
Von claims Mouse is in fact a bisexual who seeks to start a polyamorous relationship with an added female to the relationship. Von approves of this idea, due to the idea of extra sex on the side, and possibly the prospects of another bread winner and babysitter. Mouse has only commented on Von's claim once in a short awkward moment unbecoming of a supposed twenty-two year old woman where she was asked directly about this topic in which she responded by giggling and holding her hands in front of her face in embarrassment before quickly running away after making a barely audible humming sound of approval. Due to the unattractiveness of both Von and Mouse and their unappealing circumstance of living in a small trailer on the outskirts of Bumfuck, Kentucky with two incompetent retards and three kids with shit filled diapers there has been no one interested in being an addition to the VonHelton family.
Some people have attempted to show sympathy for Andrea, when we all know she is just as unemployed, and as inept a parent, as Von; and we all know she was asking for it. Lately it has become apparent that Mouse's frustration over actually having to interact with the children is becoming too much for her to bear. She is often overheard telling the oldest child (a toddler) to shut up, and she has expressed a wish to super glue the child's mouth shut. Von, meanwhile, can't be pulled away from his camera long enough to care for the children himself and is often heard complaining that his 83 year old mother is out instead of babysitting for them.
UPDATE! Von can now proudly say he passes all the criteria of the Hare Psychopathy Checklist, having had "many short-term marital relationships." In February of 2014, Andrea finally came to what little senses she has, and has flown the coop for a divorce. She packed up her Wii, left the kids, and was driven to Burger King where she could be driven away and forever say goodbye to the rape trailer. She is a grown up lady who is ready for dickings with weird internet men.
Seriously though, Von pulled his gun on her in an attempt to intimidate her, leading to her leaving and filing a protective order with Von filing for divorce. Von is still raging and lying about this, blaming the trolls and CPS for manipulating the naïve girl with the mind of a child into leaving him and ruining his life. He sees no other explanation, as he treated her "like a queen" including a phone and internet, and she committed the heinous crime of talking to people after she left without the full written consent of Von and major league baseball. Aside from blaming everyone but himself he spends much time violating his protective order by constantly threatening Andrea with jail time for not remaining his child slave until death, as if she watches his 8 hour google hangouts. The internet was put in Mouse's name after Von's mother had cut him off, and so Von has myriad excuses for leaving the net. Given his internet addiction and his past actions of pretending to leave for attention (he's already moved back the date he is gone twice), he should be back as soon as he can cry to his mama, or gets enough from e-begging. He was back after three days.
Grandma Helton
Alice Gayle Helton, nee Frost, VonHelton’s 85 year old mother who has provided for him for the first fifty tender years of his life. She financially supports Von, his retarded wife and ugly children, including mowing his grass and taking care of his kids while he rages at the internet, which he thanks her for in hateful scorn. Von has accused her of collaborating with his trolls and the CIA, being Eastern Star, and depriving him of his birth right. She once was in a physical altercation with Mouse which resulted in herpressing charges that were later dropped. Some believe that Vons borderline threats he makes in his videos might build into something serious.
Although not mother of the year material, the court decided to grant her temporary custody of Von’s children while the court hearings were ongoing. The question if the judge knew that Vons trailer sits only a few yards from Grandma Helton’s house has yet to be answered.
Von waits patiently for his mother's death so that he can finally move from the trailer she provides for him and his family, whom he doesn't think enough of to get a job and support, into the home she maintains. Unfortunately, Von has forgotten that although he can get the government to pay for his heating and food bills, they will not pay his property taxes. So it will not be long before it's section 8 housing for the Von Heltons.
The Story Continues!